TO… Some Not So Dear Indian Men


 

 

 So much to be discussed about the way we dress, eh?

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What about the way you pee? Or the way you ‘expose’ yourselves on the streets, unashamed, uninhibited by the fear of getting abused?

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Yes, you? I am talking to you, right there.

Peeing behind the trees where my pet dog resorts to attend his nature’s call?  Do you really even realize that you just stole Snoopy’s favorite pee destination?

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Yeah. YOU got it right this time. That’s the name of my dog

O holy breed of Indian men!

I agree that I belong to the class of woman who prefer staying home after 8pm. But I am not the last species on earth. Am I? I have friends, sisters and aunts who love going out, living their life beyond the 8pm deadline. Now, I know how cheap you can think of us. DO NOT mistake me for an overtly simple, scared girl who insists upon being an Indian woman only by revolving around the orbit of her house. Again, stop bothering about woman preferences and start minding the way you behave in public. I do have my 8pm rule because …. “None of your business”! It’s of course only because I like being home!!

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Secondly, do we really care about the way you dress? Do we ever snap on your face for being hypocrite ‘sanskari’ (*sanskari means cultured) sons of the civilization? Have we ever cared to stalk you alone on a ghastly Indian gulley?  Not even the ghosts of a Ram Gopal Verma movie dare to think of making love to a woman on a road so stinking and dark. But you willingly land up with your folk, molesting and scathing girls as young as ten as if ‘raping ‘is your birth right.

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I wonder if you were born with pants on!

 Do you really get high or is it a feeling of eternal oblivion that you imbibe out of ideal foolery?

The women tolerate  you- the mother, the sister and the friend initially trusts you and later ignores your inhuman activities not because they are scared of the consequences that might befall upon them for having spoken against you rather, because you no longer bear the value of “being human” in their eyes.

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And please start peeing at home. The wall art isn’t striking enough to make up to the Louvre.

 Today morning even Snoopy changed his spot.

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(P.S: The above article is meant for those men who hold the opinion of women’s dress being the sole invitation for rape cases. And ‘gentlemen’ please ignore it. But for  men like you ,we women are not yet extinct)

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6 thoughts on “TO… Some Not So Dear Indian Men

  1. 2 things actually.

    1) The sole reason you don’t see women peeing publicly is simply because it is more awkward for women to do that. That’s why they end up doing it behind the bushes instead of on the walls. India has a huge shortage of public toilets. And the ones that exist are filthier than the roads/walls they pee on. So before making this a gendered issue, do think again. All you probably saw was just a filthy wall but forgot to notice the stinking bush beside it.

    2) And lol which India do you live in? Never saw a guy being screwed for his sanskaar @ “How dare you talk to a woman like that?” or “How cheap could you be for letting her share the bill?” or “How shameless you are for letting a girl carry her own luggage?”. You really think the sanskari thing applies to only girls? And you think getting stalked is a gendered issue again? I will probably have to send you to my ex then.

    The only difference is you have media and blogs like this telling you over and over that watchout for men – they are rapists , stalkers , creeps. Men and women exhibit aggression in interestingly different ways. However the reality I see is that we are focused on solely demonizing men and really destroying the fabric of our society with these “pop feministic” articles every day.

    http://xkcd.com/386/

    • first of all thanks to you for bringing out a new string of discussion to the forum. I totally agree with that we have almost reached the age where we can find ‘equality’ for both the genders in ‘every’ aspect of life. I even sympathize with you for being a victim of certain not-so-impressive results of this ‘equality’ wave. but at the same time I can’t ignore the fact that it is mostly women who are victims at bulk. I absolutely do not disagree to the issues mentioned above by you and it is definitely sad as it needs as much attention as any other stalking or eave teasing case. However unfortunately both the cases have been ignored and slowly being taken as a part of life is what worsens up the entire thing.
      Secondly women can pee outside too . if a daily laborer without convenience to pee behind a bush , by mistake takes the refuge of a lonely road, thanks to the patriarchal spirit of our country , she is taken as a nymphomaniac by men, pulled into a van nad raped. kindly note: male can display their genitals but women can’t. And who made the rules?? More over why litter the road though we really have to blame the government as well for the sanitation issue.
      Finally i would prefer wrapping up the entire lecture(kind of) thing with just one sentence: its the majority of women out there i am talking of. Men are also violated but one doesn’t find a major number of them everyday being raped or abused. if there are such men, it is sad and i would strongly prefer being a ‘humanist’ rather than a feminist.

      • Lol.. my point is we are all, the victims of this paranoia. Not just me or some other guy. Even girls/women.
        There is no such thing as victims at bulk. India is a very violent place. If we were to start a Victim Olympics statistics, a lot more men are murdered/killed than women for a lot more reasons. All the statistics point to that. But that’s really immaterial to the point I was making. The problem is the whole society is freaking out with rape paranoia. And then we as a society are turning against each other. Go slap a random boy behind you, in a city bus. The rest of the passengers would assume he is guilty and thrash him up after you. Or well at least assume he did something wrong. When a guy does the same, the guy would still be thrashed for “ladki pe haath uthayega?!!!”. And what shows up in the news at the end of the day is – “Guy harassed a girl in the bus.”
        You tell me. When would this situation change? When magically all crime-rate in this country drops to zero? Or when the media gets bored with the current trend suddenly starts painting women as brutal criminals too? Well that would only make the society even worse. Don’t you think?

        And heh really revisit your idea of Patriarchy. If i were to walk up to you and take of my shirt like one of those idiot khans from the movies, you would be the first one to slap a sexual harassment case on me. If you did the same, I don’t even have any laws on my side to book you up 😛
        Patriarchy is simply the division of labor in a family where the husband is the primary breadwinner for a family. Nothing more, nothing less. The whole women-are-victims-of-patriarchy narrative utterly breaks down for the poorest section of Indian society – where a family simply can NOT feed on a single income, and both husband and wife end up being laborers. It’s only in the urban middle class or rural areas (without nice and comfy desk jobs), where you find women working in their own homes. And men the breadwinners. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying this is ideal/has no problems. But it in no way means that India is/women are victims of patriarchy.

        The idea that women are directly taken and assaulted for no reason is just a very myopic view which imho is fabricated by the media. It completely ignores A lot of factors like the norms of sexuality, level of violence/literacy in our country. Do you personally know any body in real life who would do such a thing? I don’t think so. Yet the blogpost – trying to scare away some boogeyman, who seems to exist only in the media?
        What I find ironic/interesting is when any other section of society fights with other, everyone would try to calm the issue down peacefully. for eg. Hindu-Muslim fights, India-Pakistan etc… But here, we are continuously aggravating the issue, chasing after a boogeyman damaging our own society.

        And ya, the real issue with public urination I see is that people are not well educated in our country. If a guy – or a girl – needs to pee in the middle of a road, he might as well walk up to the nearest mall/shop and use their toilets. Comfortably. But people here aren’t educated to do that. Blaming government kinda doesn’t do us much good here. Don’t you think?

        hmm… so any other interesting points to debate/discuss?

        Good Day 🙂

      • The whole argument of yours is well thought of and brought out to the fore front. All that i meant through my article is to potray THE class of men … yes men and i would stick to it because i write what i see. Blaming the media is a bit too much because we can’t ignore the benefits of it at the same time. I think I would have liked to know the statistics of men being raped everyday in the country. Not that if it is 1 out of 100 I would be less sympathetic or concerned, yet I chose to write basically on women because there is the struggle for existence for them since birth or may be before birth. I haven’t penned down the issue to be noticed but to create awareness about the majority (whether agree or not).
        About laws in our country, well i am bit confused on a lot of issues already including reservations vs equality , women empowerment vs male employment, westernization vs indian culture bla bla .. And mind you it seems your comments are intriguing enough to make me write few more articles to justify the gender bias problem. 😛 There is a lot more to be written on the paradox called India. and its not for nothing that sometimes yes its the men who need to take the blame too while women culprits too shouldn’t be ignored as in my opinion ‘crime’ is too fair in case of gender study. It chooses is slave quite unbiased. I am drifting… ermm. I would call it a discussion rather than debate.

  2. The exact statistics for (sexual) violence against men ( be it perpetrated by other men or women ) in India are really unknown as our government doesn’t recognize any form of sexual violence against men/boys. All the laws are specifically gender biased, due to the ridiculous pressure from women’s organizations. So not much use speculating here ( http://www.firstpost.com/india/ram-singhs-death-rape-and-ugly-sexual-violence-in-indian-jails-657071.html and http://www.academia.edu/1491737/Domestic_Violence_against_Men_in_India_A_Perspective are examples). But given the higher prevalence of HIV in the prison population, I’d say the numbers are not that negligible. Also to be brutally honest, I cannot really give you a satisfiable definition for a woman raping a man. Sure you can have arbitrary definitions like “man forced to have sex”, or “Adult women and a minor boy”(which isn’t recognized as rape in India either afaik) but I dislike the idea of making people feel like victims just so we can define and criminalize something.(same applies the other way too)

    The thing about media is it sensationalizes only the things that sell. Hence “Tehelka dude possibly raped an employee within 1 minute in an elevator” stays as a headline on the front page for a couple of weeks while even the details of gory cold blooded murders/honor killings/etc… never appear before the 3rd page (as surprising as it maybe, more murders happen in India than rapes ). The Nirbhaya case sparked so much sensation, while nobody gave a damn about the cops who died in those stupid protests? The obvious conclusion that was supposed to follow from this is India considers its women very precious. A lot. But the conclusion we are fed over and over again is “A lot of Indian men are creeps and India is no place for women”.

    Also there is struggle for existence for both men and women in this country. Except we only publicize one half of the story as “India is no place for women” or some sensationalist hype like that. I mean almost all our laws demonize and criminalize dowry, But more than half the profiles in Shaadi.com shamelessly ask for “a groom with min XYZ amount of salary”. And, only the husband’s property is split and given to the wife after a divorce, which only a wife has the right to file/oppose. What would you call that?

    My biggest problem with gender bias is not that it exists but we are ridiculously hypocritical about it and make up more and more double standards using that as excuse. And the stupidest thing really is we are hurting our own society – both men and women with these stupidest short sighted laws and activism. Heavily biased,draconian human right violations passed as women friendly laws? We are screwing women’s employability – where she would be seen more as a liability than anything. We are destroying the Indian family system. Hang the rapist laws? Why not make a law that openly says “All dear rapists should murder their victims, cuz otherwise chances that you are screwed are more”. The only people who are profited from all this is the creepiest of man hating feminazis, the media and politicians – all of whom get tons of funding “to do something about this dire situation”. And they know it too.

    • I agree to all that you have said above. Statistics again are something that the media broadcasts with lots of spotlight hovering over it, kind of TRP dramedy.Anyway as far as our democracy is concerned , I PERSONALLY feel the word ‘democracy’ might have been a siamese twin to the word ‘demo-crazy’. I don’t know if we need to continue the blame game policy that is so much loved by our public, rather i would prefer an individual effort on our part to protect or fight for the rights. Otherwise there is a simpler way too-, (much in fashion now a days)- just join the crowd and be a part of the intellectual breed , pretending to be a change maker and lull your bloody self to sleep while the nation burns.

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